Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Ah, When it rises above 40 Degrees!


For the last thirteen years, my motto has been "anything above 53 degrees is okay." In Kentucky, that's when I defrosted, went outside, ran and felt like spring was coming. Of course, that was a rather regular temperature, too.

I've had to adjust a bit in New York, and because today it went slightly above 40 degrees, I felt refreshed. So, my new motto is anything above 40 degrees sparks a renaissance in humanity. I feel like putting on shorts it's so warm!!!

When it dips below 32 degrees, it requires an extremely creative mind game to find the passion to move. But, above 40 --- heck, we might as well be in the Caribbean!

Chill and stay cool.

Bryan

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Yoga

I like yoga. Yoga is such a positive experience. My mom, sister, and I all went and did yoga together at Yoga East. Very relaxing and strengthening at the same time.
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. That's another reason to be happy! I haven't forgotten about this blog!

Check out the fiveawesomegirls channel on YouTube. It's a requirement that they say why each day is awesome when they make a post. I want to do a project like that with 4 other people. What a good idea. Right-o

Blogging Happiness.


This one is easy. Keeping this online journal allows me to focus, if only for moments in my day, on what I love most: writing and sharing ideas. More importantly, I love the community it builds of those who check out this space in an endless galaxy of information. In other words, it keeps me connected. For the time being, blogging is keeping me happy (if not overwhelmed by sticking to my resolution to do so). So far, so good.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Happiness is "Venting"


I was doing laundry yesterday morning when I noticed that my economy-size, family tub of laundry detergent had a cap at the top with a note which read, "twist to vent." I twisted it to vent, and the detergent came out a lot faster and more smooth.

I had a terrible dream where I was in a Psychology Statistics class where our entire grade was based off of one examination that would be run through a Scan Tron machine. I studied hard and thought I did well, but I forgot to turn it in. When I caught up with the Graduate Assistants running the tests through the Scan Tron they allowed me to turn it in late. I missed 50% of the questions and they told me, "It looks like you're a failure. You will not pass this class."

It scared me to the point I woke up. I knew what it was about. It was about test anxiety and the fact that I've spent the last twenty years as a reader and writer, not as a mathematician. I am not about numbers and suddenly I have to be. I know this dream brought me to my perfectionist demons -- who am I to conquer statistics?

That's why I really really was glad I found the "twist" to "vent" valve on my laundry detergent. It is my new therapy, and whenever I have a panic attack or grow frustrated, I'm going out to the garage and twisting. That will be my new approach to venting in 2008. I hope this makes me happy.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Happiness is the Music of Adolescence


Chloe Regan, class of 2007, created an "art space" at the J. Graham Brown School for student artists, perfomers and audiences. During her art opening, Daniel Lobb, class of 2009, performed a song he wrote for all who attended. I've made an .mp3 of this song and when it pops up on my i-Tunes (I'm a random listener), I get happy.

Today, Daniel's song popped onto my i-Pod and I couldn't help but be happy. I decided he deserves kudos on the 2008 Happiness blog....not only for his musicianship, but in support of a fellow artist, Chloe, and in celebration of what great minds can do when they find one another. In this video, many Brown School students' art work is also show, as well as attendees in this performance.

For me, this song captures youth in an amazing way, especially the preciousness of "discovering" the beauty in the opposite sex. Perhaps I'll blog one day about the girls, young women, and women that caught my eye. If you're a feminist out there, I apologize for my sexist gaze, but for my male readers -- I think you'll understand. Daniel did and wrote this song

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Q, R, S, Tea, U, V


When you shovel six inches of snow in the morning, tea will warm you up. When you want afternoon cookies, tea compliments the snack beautifully. When you want to impress guests, serving tea in a ritualistic fashion is irreplaceable.

When Amy Parton, of the punk band KING KONG fame, and I traveled England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales and Denmark before studying Shakespeare at Cambridge, we stopped to stay with a family-friend of hers in Northern London. Every afternoon, Barbara served us tea. Okay, she served tea during all waking hours of the day, but sitting in her beautiful English garden sipping hot herb was spectacular.

So tea. Simple tea. Liquid serenity.

~makes me : ).

Friday, January 25, 2008

Tapping Into Passion = Happiness


Michael Turner began "spitting" out spoken word poetry as a senior in high school. He told me he wanted to research poetry and I asked him, "Do you write?" He answered that he did, and the rest is history. Michael recited the attached poem. As a teacher, he taught me that students are more amazing than they even realize and that stopping to ask him a simple question was all it took to tap into an artform. There are so many untapped resources in the world and when we take the time to inquire about them, a simple question might deliver discoveries that we're only beginning to understand

Thursday, January 24, 2008

"The How of Happiness" by Sonja Lyubormirsky


So, I'm running my fingers along this weeks NEWSWEEK (which is a ritual that I enjoy) when I come across an article called "The 'How To' of Leading a Happy Life" on their Psychology/Tip Sheet page. The article was written by Jennifer Barrett (p. 60) and I thought, hmmm, reading about the psychology of being happy makes me happy, too. So, here's a debriefing of what I learned:

*an outlook on life is not genetic, even if depression, mania, etc. might be.

*Sojna Lyubormirsky of the University of California, Riverside, suggests that 40% of our happiness IS within our control (but that leaves 60% out of it!!! Well, 50%, she allows 10% for circumstance.)

*Lyubormirsky proved that individuals who commit random acts of kindness, send letters of gratitude or keep positive journals about the world for more than six weeks did have increased happiness levels.

*She suggests not over-thinking and stewing on matters that are bringing you down. Instead, say, STOP, and allow only a brief period each day to "stew" over things (designate a time). Otherwise, move on. She suggests learning coping skills...write them down and keep track of how you overcome pessimistic thoughts. She also recommends savoring ordinary experiences (ha ha ha, my blog?) and finally she writes one should cultivate optimism.

Recent brain studies are showing that the brain can be altered. Now, you have to understand, too, that I'm not necessarily a fan of true happiness...I mean, I think GODZILLA MEETS BAMBI is hysterical, accurate and true to life's cause. Yet, while we have life, I am interested in laughing --- so, now I wonder, is a sick sense of humor a bad thing if it makes one happy?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Improv4Happiness


Last year, Brown School students presented with me at the Louisville Writing Project winter conference. In particular, members of Improv4Hope, spoken word artist, Michael Turner, and funny bones, Emily Newton, showcased their talents. All the performers added much happiness to 2007 and today, in 2008, I am recalling their debut at the University of Louisville.

It was pouring that morning. Margee Luken had her mother's car and became lost on campus.  Trying to find her way, she hit a parked car (with a man sleeping in it). It was not a happy time for her, so when she finally arrived what did she and the group do? They made the incident into a musical and performed it for the audience of writers and teachers.

Here are a couple scenes from the conference with some traditional warm-ups. Everyone deserves improv in their life. The "quarterbacks" taught me this during my last year at Brown and whenever I think of them I grow proud and happy.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Do You Believe In Miracles?


My brother-in-law, Mike, is on cloud nine since Sunday's football game where the Giants won in overtime. My nephew, Dylan, said, "Everyone in Syracuse will hear him scream if they win the Super Bowl!"

Mike's followed the Giants as long as I've know him and like most fanatics, his Giants support is a religion full of rituals, superstitions and prayer.

Yesterday, Mike was happy about the Giants miraculous win in overtime, which made me happy for him about the Giants miraculous win in overtime, which resulted in happiness while I went to Price Chopper to get groceries, thinking about Mike and the Giants with their miraculous win. I can't say I watch the NFL because I don't. I will watch the Super Bowl this year for Mike, though -- unless, of course, I bring bad luck. In this case, I'm sure I'll never hear the end of it and I'll end up dead and buried in the snow. That wouldn't make me happy. That would make me dead and cold.

Monday, January 21, 2008

In Preparation for MLK Day and What Louisville Taught Me Most.

Last year, senior A.J. Clark worked with his church on a performance to raise awareness of diabetes in the black community as a part of his senior culminating project at the J. Graham Brown School.  Magazine Street SDA sent several students to our school and each of them were amazingly spiritual and hardworking.  I have a huge place in my heart for Magazine Street students and their families, but also for the Brown School with a mission of diversity and encouraging the unique potential of every student.  Founded in 1972, the school's inception could only result after leaders, like Martin Luther King, guided the way.  A.J. and his partners created a program called "Miming for Jesus" and in their motions and movement, they let the gospel speak through them.  Here, the Magazine Street SDA student choir is featured.

Rewatching the video I shot last year makes me proud.  In my opinion, this exemplifies the universe in so many ways.  Those of you who know me can easily attest to the fact I've never been religious.  Yet, I've always been spiritual and that is why today, this short clip, and the hard work of students at the Brown School will always make me happy.  The community of Magazine Street Church is something everyone deserves to experience.  

I believe in so much more because of them.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Happiness comes from Musical geniuses



I'm a musical quitter. I tried my hands at the piano, but quit. I picked up a trumpet and attempted to become Louie Armstrong, yet quit, and my family knows how short-lived my singing career has been: they have videos and audio to remind me of how un-American idoled I am. I wish I could sing. I can't.

Even so, I love music.

As corny as this may sound, my exposure to some of the "great works" was because my sister, Cynde, was in colorguard for the CNS Northstars. Because of that, I learned titles of some music as bands played on the field. I didn't grow appreciative of classical music until the last few years. Scanning my truck's radio, I started to hit "pause" on radio stations that threw instrumentals my way.

This is why Jon Powers, class of two g's and a dollar (2001), makes me happy. In the mail, yesterday, I received a collection of classical music burned on cd's for my musical education. Each CD arrived with notes about what I'm hearing and I now have a new course to take this semester: Beethoven, Bach and how such musicians title their work.

My mother plays the piano and organ, passionately. My dad's gift of an electric synthesizer for her birthday has sparked a rebirth in her fingers. I did not inherit such talent (although, I've often referred to the computer keyboard as a place I love to dance with my phalanges -- grown content that music can be made there, too).

The classics are CLASSICS for a reason. Such life-work keeps me in awe. I listen to learn and learn to listen. Happiness comes from sound, too.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Need I Write More?

To get funky, click here:

Get, Funky.

I think this is pretty self-explanatory

Happiness is history, generations and cheap beer.


Entering a new semester, I'm finding myself with the ritual of Friday nights at the American Legion in Clay, New York, for a fish fry and a pint. My grandfather, Spencer Ripley, served in the Navy during WWII in the Pacific. Although he seldom talked of his experience, it was a piece of who he was. His service allows my mother a connection to the local post. I enjoy this land of blue haired progenitors and find comfort in their presence of stories, retirement and commitment to the Greatest Generation ever.

And the beer is cheap. I can buy two beers and a white russian for less than $5. How wonderful is that?

On Friday nights, I think about the work I'm doing with my University studies, the work I did in the classroom, and the work my grandparent's generation did in the world that allowed my life to be carried out this way, today. I'm humored that many in the academic setting scorn war and military, and seem to forget that it was a young population of men and women who helped Europe save itself, ended Hitler's Eugenicist campaign, and kept the Western U.S. from Japan's desire to control the Pacific. Many of the people who are anti-military spend their days looking at theoretical research on our modern popular culture. Such work is the result of WWII, and our education is because of their strength to fight for what the American democracy is supposed to be about.

I try to make sense of the world all the time. Drinking and eating huge fish portions with those who subscribe to AARP makes me happy. In fact, I look forward to it. I feel I am joining a historical chapter that is much larger than anything my generation has ever known.

Friday, January 18, 2008

The Brown School Muse, Happiness & Poetry


I wrote my first poem in college under the guidance of David Bosnick. After, I worked with Dr. Art Clements. I found my way to Ruth Stone. In graduate school, I went to Jeff Skinner for fiction, and by that time I was hooked on reading and writing poetry on my own. I'm not EMO. I'm not high art or academic. When I sit down, I become Dr. Seuss meets Walt Whitman. I don't know where it comes from, but it makes me happy.

I've been writing with and for my students since I began teaching. By 2003, I started writing acrostic poems for every graduate of the Brown. It felt right to do that. The summer before, an English teacher at another school made fun of students trying to write acrostics in their State portfolios. She said an acrostic could never be proficient and I disagreed. I went home and wrote one with her name. It's been a hobby of mine since that day.

I've also fallen in love with what I call poetic drivebys. I write on anything I can find and when I'm bored I doodle only to leave my scripted games for others. At times, I deliver them to fast-food drive thrus only to say, "I don't want a Value Meal, I just wanted to drop off this poem." It's silly, but it makes me smile. It's ridiculous and I imagine it's something for the employee to talk about later. (Alex Shulz of 2004 has begun doing random poetry on sidewalks with chalk -- Go, Alex!)

I'm providing a link to a blog I've begun (you can get to it on the right, too), callled "Poetic Doodles." I've put my 2003 to 2007 acrostic poems aboard that space, and will add other poetic doodles when the time allows.

Since poetry, at times, makes me content, I thought it should be attached to my Happiness blog.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Happiness is the Journey - Even the Crappy Parts


Yesterday was sort of a 'mittwoch' meltdown for many people I know enrolled in the Ph.D program, including me. Perhaps it was the onset of a new semester, the reality of financial risks, and the voyage to the unknown that created a day of angst. I received an email from the director of the Louisville Writing Project checking in on me and she said, "These days are the hardest part of the journey towards where you want to go." I emailed her back, "Yes, because getting the degree is crossing the river Styx."

In the underworld, travelers forget their former lives because the powers that be pull such history away. Styx is a foul river and drinking directly from it causes death. Here, the world of the living meet the world of the dead and the world of the mortal meet the world of the immortal. Only a few who journey in these parts make it to the Elysian Fields. Most end up like Sisyphus, punished forever in a bouldered-state of Ground Hog's Day with Bill Murray.

I can't think of a better metaphor for this academic process, and when it popped into my head, it made me smile. Yes, I'm in one of those crappy parts of the journey, and I'm hoping to keep a little sense of who I am. I don't want to forget where I've already traveled nor why I want to cross the River and, hopefully, return with more knowledge than I had before.

It smells here. It is dark. All around me I see sadness and worry. Angst and fear rule the day. I float in a world seeing Tantalus tempted by fruit and water just out of his reach. This world is not real -- it is not like the public school teaching world I once knew and all the life that I found from it. I am walking among ghosts and they are all judging me, trying to suck the life out of me through their eyes. They are Harry Potter's Dementors.

Yet, everything is evolving at exactly the right time --- and for this, I must be content and patient. Happiness comes from traveling the bad parts, too.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Road Paved With Good Intentions make me Happy.


A couple of years ago, Charlie Stevenson was asked to fix a miniature dirt bike for Scott Roser. When he fixed it, he road it to my house and said, "Bry, take it for a ride."

I was stoked. In the back of my mind, I saw myself as a full-tattooed Hell's Angel and I knew this mini-road trip was going to be the beginning of amazing things. I crouched down on the tiny bike, learned the gears and handles, but failed to ask one question, "Where're the breaks?"

Those mini-bikes can fly, as I did: down the driveway, out into the road, up the sidewalk of the neighbor's house and into their front porch. Charlie thought I was dead, but really I was stimulated by endorphins. I felt real good, even though my arms and legs were a bloody mess.

That night at the Rover (an Irish bar in Louisville), Charlie laughed at me. His wife, Alice, laughed at me. And of course, I laughed at myself.

I thought about this event yesterday while driving to SU and started to laugh again. Symbolically, I couldn't think of a better metaphor for my life. I turned into a giant scab, humbled by the fact that I couldn't drive a kid's toy -- let alone a real motorcycle. The whole event struck me funny and it will always put a smile across my face.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

happiness is warmth


happiness is warmth
Originally uploaded by bripc
Winter is back and snow is falling again. Temperatures will be in the single digits by this weekend. Last night, after my first STATS class, I came home with a numerical headache of facts, formulas, probabilities and measurements. My mind became twisted. I'm a person who likes stories, ideas, creativity and free thinking and my brain doesn't work in the ways of linear textbooks. Yet, to survive this semester, I have to adjust how I learn(these textbooks, by the way, are expensive: they're small, but obviously with formulas worth much more money than a good piece of fiction -- a $100 more per book).

So, I came home, unpacked my bags, and built a fire in my wood burning stove. It didn't take long before the heat battled the chilly air and my tiny abode warmed up. When it got toasty, I decided to put the Statistics books aside and to read one of the fiction books lying around my house. The fire from the stove and the fictional tale in my lap returned me to comfort. Happiness is curling up on a couch with a good book and a warm fire.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Some Good Old Fashioned Elbow Grease

I did load-in for a show today for Walden, and I spent several hours heaving around things that weighed near and/or over 100 pounds and avoiding a hernia. I also had a time with trying to screw some boards to some other boards. I haven't had rigorous activity in a while... exercisin' releases them endorphins so I'm happy now. I'm already sore today, though, so I think I'll be feelin' the pain tomorrow

Bry's Hoody of Happiness


Bry's Hoody
Originally uploaded by bripc
So, Keef Williams, Class of 2007 texts me and says, "I want a Syracuse Hoody." I tell Keef, "I never got a Louisville Hoody." So, we're trading. I began my hoody search at 11 a.m. yesterday and finally, at 3 p.m. I found his request of an Orange, XXL sweatshirt. It took me so long to find this that I decided I wanted one, too. Why? There's nothing like a hoody wrapped around the head on a cold, winter day (which, by the way, arrived again last night --- more snow). Growing up, I lived in hoodies and there was a period of time, too, when I slept in them with the cloak around my ears. Ah, blessed be the comfortable man who is happy.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Comics and Middle School Music

I like weird sound effects, first popularized by Batman, and seen in today's funnies:

Sploot? Pure genius.
Currently listening to Weezer's Green Album. What memories. People make me sad when they tell me they no longer have a place in their heart for music they liked ten years ago. You can't be serious when you say that Good Charlotte, the Spice Girls and Raffi don't bring you joy anymore.

----------------
Now playing: Weezer - Buddy Holly
via FoxyTunes

cbs-sunday mornings and AARP happiness


cbs-sunday
Originally uploaded by bripc
I think it was near my thirty-second birthday when I stopped sleeping until noon on Sundays and/or broke the tradition of strong coffee and great bagels at Nancy's in Louisville. I replaced these days of rest with a pre-mature negotiation of easy news with Charles Osgood.

On Sunday mornings, I begin my day watching CBS News Sunday Morning because it treats me like a geriatric gerbil who needs a calm, slow deliverance of global reality. Best of all, however, they end the program in anticipation of the work-week ahead by offering a nature scene of ducks, prairie dogs or whales, simply being ducks, prairie dogs or whales in their natural setting and sounds. A wind rustles against the microphone and all the horrid details of war, crime and getting old is traded for National Geographic scenery of a non-human world.

It's beautiful and good for the soul. CBS News Sunday Morning's theme song hovers in my mind for the next seven days until, once again, I will find myself on a Sunday morning dreaming the life of a retired American.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Would Ellen Be Happy When She Learned Her Son Was Alive and Well?


briellen
Originally uploaded by bripc
Ellen Degeneres makes me happy. Brian Valentine does, too, even if he spells his name wrong. I always say that Ellen is a male version of Brian, but then I get confused because she should be a female version of Brian. They're both just good kids.

These two photos don't make their resemblance that apparent, but truly they are mother and son. I wrote to Ellen last Fall to see if we could get on her show. I billed it as "Ellen, this is the son you never knew you gave birth to." She didn't bite.

Even so, Ellen makes me happy when she does her faces and acts all goofy. Valentine is simply a genius with perspective. I love his angle on the world and how he sees things -- a story teller, indeed.

Gosh, I wish Ellen would write me back. I think an exchange between her and Brian on national television would be something for everyone. It could be a reunion episode that would make people cry and that audiences would talk about on subways, buses and at the office coffee machine. Together, they could listen to their ipods and dance a duet I bet. That would make everyone happy.

I admit, these two photos don't look maternal, but if Brian and Ellen were in the same room everyone would see she must be his mother, or at least an Aunt.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Richard Stine is a Happy Artist

Kayo Wicks bought me a book of Richard Stine's artwork around six years ago. He is brilliant and clever; his drawings/paintings /sketches are profoundly hysterical and hysterically profound. I love how he unites the visual with the textual and, more importantly, how he makes our species think. 

You can google "Richard Stine" and hit the images button to see some of his work OR you can visit his website and delve into the capitalistic reality that in order to survive, an artist must sell sell sell.

Let creativity rule the world, I say, and watch the world succumb to bliss.  Clicking on the piece to the right, "Man struggling with an inability to express himself in words" to see more of Stine's work, or click the link below:

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Stereotypical Gender Details

I like the little stupid things every once in a while- painting my nails stupid colors and whatnot. They've been such foreign concepts to me for so long. It's nice to just give in for once.

race car happiness


race car happiness
Originally uploaded by bripc
I'll be brief, today. A few years ago, Alice Stevenson came to school laughing hysterically. She founded a website that tickled her and she made me sit down and watch this tiny little race car. I did. I failed the test. From time to time, I'd hear the race car coming out of Alice's classroom and when I'd check on her, she'd be giggling. The race car is a tiny piece of happiness that revisits us again and again, and it resurfaces in our world whenever it can. I post the link below to, hopefully, make your day. Don't laugh though. That's the object.

http://www.savageresearch.com/humor/insanityTest.html

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Warming the Globe So We Can Play Once Again

I know we both wrote about the same thing today, but oh well.
We must really be screwing up the planet when it is not only 70 here (the temperature is supposed to be 40), but in New York as well. What is up with that?
These are bittersweet times because I want to be happy about the beautiful weather, but I am unhappy about why it's like this. I will admit that it's nice to get a break from the winter gloom and get an injection of bright sunlight and cheery weather. It's amazing how weather can affect your mood.

-Morgan

You've Got to Love Dogs & Nature.


Baby
Originally uploaded by bripc
The problem with global warming and seventy degree temperatures in a NY January is the instinctive trigger to find a little Spring in your step. Taking advantage of the abnormal warmth, I decided to give Baby, the dog, a bath and rid her of her winter smell. I heaved all 115 lbs of her golden fur into the tub to scrub her down - a feat Odysseus must of felt while slaying Penelope's suitors. As soon as I let her outside to dry, however, I noticed she was rolling in a pile of leaves towards the back end of my yard.

Ah, possum. Oh, Beautiful, decaying, winter thawing carcass and the instinct of the canine breed. Baby returned to my house coated in rodent tar and sticky with intestinal goo. The smell won the prize and earned her another bath. Now, I suppose such an incident should cause strife and turmoil in a postmodern world, but I find comfort that nature always runs its course. Whereas I was jumping the gun for the arrival of daffodils, Baby, too was enthusiastic to premier a fresh perfume of roadkill to celebrate the unusual weather. Although I had a frown on my face (understatement) Baby was rather proud of her Pep E. Le Pew olfactory accomplishment.

It is natural to be reborn on nice days. This January resurrection made me happy.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Rediscovering

Rediscovering things that you once loved or appreciated and had since forgotten about. I had forgotten how much music existed to be played in my house. I have been playing every instrument I can get my hands on, and have been recording a lot of it.
Finding the things you used to like is funny- it's as if, by liking them and then forgetting them, you leave yourself a present for later when you realize how much you've missed them.

Happiness is Childhood Art


"Majok" by Angelo Kir Ngong
Originally uploaded by bripc
I spent the final hours of Monday evening working with men from the Syracuse Sudanese community while they painted their sculpted cows at Feats of Clay in Manlius. They will sell their artwork to help raise money for academic studies in America. As young men, it was common to use localized clay to create figurines that would become their toys, and tonight, the spirit was youthful again as immense concentration went to painting and telling stories. This throwback to childhood made me happy, especially for them. Art calms the human soul.

Monday, January 7, 2008

My sisters bring me happiness


My sisters bring me happiness
Originally uploaded by bripc
2008 is the year of my sisters and that makes me happy: Cynderballs/Cynde, the oldest, middle-man me, and K.C./ Casey/ K'Dot'C'Dot / Karyn/ Kenneth Charles, the youngest. Growing up in Westmoreland, then Clay, New York, and also spending weekends in Sherburne and Hamilton visiting grandparents, my sisters and I were destined to create a bond -- one that wasn't obvious until we grew much older. I suppose most our memories are from the back seat of a station wagon fighting over who was touching who, but so much changes over time. Now, as adults, it is my friendship with my two sisters that has persevered adolescence, our twenties and now our thirties. Through their eyes, I can see how much we've aged and how precious the growing process really is. This entry is a celebration of everything we once were, and all that is yet to come.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Found In Syracuse


Found In Syracuse
Originally uploaded by bripc
As Americans, we sometimes fail to realize how our lives are drastically different from the global realities of severe poverty, violence and uprooted survival. We simply change the channel, select a different song on our IPods and/or head off to the gym or mall. That is why I've cherished my work in Louisville with the Sudanese community and why today I find happiness from Felicia R. McMahon's book, NOT JUST CHILD'S PLAY; EMERGING TRADITION AND THE LOST BOYS OF SUDAN. Her understanding of the Dinka and DiDinga arrives from a playful approach of song and dance. Yesterday, she and several of the men she works with participated in a book signing at Barnes and Noble in Fayetteville, New York. The music, the laughter and the enthusiasm for life was captured in every minute of their presentation. These DiDinga men were appreciative of their American community and brought to the audience a more complicated understanding of what it means to have life in our powerful nation. They bring immense perspective to my life and the worries, frustrations and complaints I have. Their story helps me to realize how fortunate I really am.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

To Be Happy, Eat Wegman's Subs


roast beef sub
Originally uploaded by bripc
Perhaps one of the best reasons for living in upstate, New York, is the Wegman's Grocery store chain. There's a European feel to their stores and they have the best delis and bakeries. Shopping at Winn Dixie and Krogers in the South is like shopping in a Port-o-Potty. I don't mind getting groceries at Wegmans, nor do I regret the nights where I pick up one of their roast beef subs with provolone cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and honey mustard on a wheat roll. Even when I pull into their parking lot, hit black ice and slam into a car in front of me as she's cut off by another car, the damage is minor when biting into a Wegman's sub. The sandwhich a cure-all. It's a dinner to make anyone smile on a semi-bad day.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Happiness is a warm blanket.


warm blanket
Originally uploaded by bripc
When Central, New York, blows icicles from the sky, this Bry knows how to stay warm. You need a good blanket to wrap yourself in. This blanket was made for me last year as a going away gift by a parent of one of my students. Last night, I cuddled myself tightly in its wrap while the dog laid upon my feet and the single digit temperatures didn't harm either of us too much. I'm glad for my blankies.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

I'm happy about the Best Treadmill Show Ever

Serendipity worked her '08 magic and ever since the new year began I've been fortunate to run at the gym during The Price is Right. Hands down, it is the best show to run to because it is full of adrenalin, comedy, anxiety and triumph -- everything that running involves. I haven't watched the show in years, especially since Drew Carey took the helm, but it still remains a perfect show for college students, retired citizens and housewives. It also is an easy way to run an hour on a treadmill without realizing you're actually jogging in place. So, here's to The Price is Right and all the happiness it brings.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Be Happy About The Everything Bagel


The Everything Bagel
Originally uploaded by bripc
What's the opposite of nothing? Everything. My favorite morning bagel. Sesame Seeds. Poppy seeds. Onions. Salt (And a little mustard), and I am set. The perfect way to wake up and begin the day, because everything is evolving at exactly the right time.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Be Happy About '08 Resolutions


08 Resolution
Originally uploaded by bripc
I've been running faithfully and working out since August, and I know January first is the day to commit to new habits. I'd like to say I will eat better and exercise more, but I know that I do as much as I can to fight my genetics. The rest is history. So, this year, I want to celebrate the good things in life AND this includes a love for being fat and on a perpetual diet. Always battling weight has become a part of who I am and now I wish to give it a shout out. If it wasn't for being fat, I wouldn't run as many miles a week as I do, nor push weights. If it wasn't for being fat, I wouldn't have my whacky sense of humor. If it wasn't for being fat, my personal history would have been on a completely different path. So, here's to girth, 2008, and the symbolic, Sisyphus battle of getting rid of it unsuccessfully. In reality, it is not a bad thing. It is the thing that it is and I wish to rate it as my number one celebration for 2008. ~ Bry

Sunday, December 30, 2007

xmas07


xmas07
Originally uploaded by bripc
Good Bye, '07, Hello '08. Great. Another Year.
Let the Games Begin.

Friday, November 30, 2007

for Meggie


42gtotem_dragonfly
Originally uploaded by bripc

The Graced Land

The Graced Land;

Flow on, river! flow with the flood-tide, and ebb with the ebb-tide!
Frolic on, crested and scallop-edg’d waves!

– Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

i. Preface

i’ve been graced by pond life,
traced onto the splendor of lilypads and cattails
from the splendid wings of a dragonfly.

& it’s always been just me, myself and bry,
never knowing what festivity lies ahead,
finding myself floating, instead, in my ubiquitous, narcissistic dreams --
without ever taking control of the oars.
(I’ve felt, I suppose, like the intellectual
whores drifting by shorelines of epi/academic seas).

on land, bent over my knees, my skin dries out in vapor,
amused, I scribble text & thoughts to paper
in hopes of one day making sense.

I climb over the fence to question what I’ve been told,
yet I also feel sold & pimped to the institutional hold
of all this mindlessness & meandering movement.

tonight, rejoicing my short prayers,
& becoming complicated by the layers of generations who are now dust,
I recognize how much i must flow with the current as i do.
streaming away in manic motion, brittle as bamboo,
trying to renew my spirit,
in the wetland potion of my mind
hoping to, once again, find tranquil water.


ii. I stand before you as a poetic ape (Poe, 1917)

i stand before you as a poetic ape,
gentleman, ladies, i’m here to announce
there’s no escape from my cage --
and no matter how many journals let the writers rage
in published paranoia, we’re still on this cave-like stage
strutting and fretting our hours until we’re heard no more.

Another score for the wind
designed for correctly training the disciplined and punished.
It will never be finished nor diminished,
in our coats of unblemished fur.

This is the art form.
The examination making us normal, because they’re looking,
and they must see us without ever being seen (Foucault, 1984).

Such surveillance is the eye dance of a bureaucratic gaze,
and I doubt there’ll be a phase when it goes blind.
predators who are hunted
are as awake as those most shunted in every cavern of fear.
it’s just that, in their watch, an oppressed tear
trickles downstream unnoticed
even we, who are powerless, celebrate our might in the mechanical hierarchy of being.

i’ve seen my fellow apes succumbing to fleas,
dropping to their knees by such force.
& I know, too,
a horse, of course, only shows remorse when stung by a busy bee.

not even we apes are free, you see, as I shall explain.

maintain & train. maintain & train. maintain & train (Foucault, 1995)
the rain in spain stays mainly on the plane.

in this linguistic soup that
caters to imperial skyscrapers in a discourse of excellence
and middle class morality.
The impasse of such radicalism is cynical despair (Readings, 1996):

“Postmodernism has become another alibi
in the name
of which
intellectuals
denounce
the world for failing to live
up to their expectations” (Readings, 1996).

This historical baboon’s past hysterical,
post-historically he’s becoming quite lyrical
“with Bloom & London’s raving harpies” (Readings, 1996)
screaming mad with felt-tip Sharpies
writing “market-driven madmen” (Readings, 1996) upon SU bricks,
where, even now, we hicks can pay a price
to learn an education’s quite nice
if we’re willing to be shot from the political canon (Readings, 1996)
and broken down by the culturally elite.

and at some point even the rich student
must admit defeat to the man who is
behind the curtain, offering a simulacra (Zizek, 2007) of Oz --
everything is culturally determined.
we’re all hunted on tenured-tracks
where transnational corporations (Readings, 1996)
allow post-high school explorations
of the mind to those who find they care:

“Universities are parasitic institutions,”
writes Chomsky, “It doesn’t matter
what you read, what matters is how you read it” (2003).

King Kong, Ding Dong, I may be wrong,
but aren’t people automata (Chomsky, 2003), pea, yeah,
willing to pay, huh, for the opportunity
to move up in the world?

We educated simpletons get too
swirled in the privilege of academic whining
but few are willing to conform
with the storm of knowledge as a base of liquid games.
Teachers can be like adolescents
always looking for someone else to blame.

we’ve all been trained.
we’ve all been explained.
we’re all enchained, detained, & stained
because once again it rained and water will
find a way to flow.

this ape is letting go, free,
to the pedagogical struggle of doublets,
in recognition that “statistical predictions have no bearing on individuals” (Popkewitz, 1998).

this ape is on a role,
trying to save his soul (Popkewitz, 1998)
as the waters ebb & flow
pushing towards the confluence
of even more unknowing.

his ideas are growing,
monkeys seeing, monkeys doing
through the soil for
tomorrow’s gardens,
we keep the waters flowing

with ideas.

iii. Inside higher dread

we cling to life.

and some of us prefer Tori over Margaret (Spellings, 2006)
when s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g out our Beverly Hills
9021 uh-oh, spaghetti ohs
What is the future of higher ed…
when, for 371 years, we’ve all been spoon-fed
the idea that brains are better than brawn?

yawn.

*students aren’t graduating high school
*the price of college is outrageous
*remediation is a waste of academic time
*literacy among college students is declining
how am I supposed to make that rhyme
as a principle for upward mobility? (Spellings, 2006)

oh, say can you see

*that 90% of new jobs will require post-secondary education (Spellings, 2006)
even with the expectation gap from one school to the next?

perplexed?

*44% of faculty members say students aren’t prepared in
contrast to the 90% of high school teachers who think they are (Spellings, 2006).

There’s a lot of wishing on the educational star from
the S.S. Department of Ed, hoping the academic ship stays full course ahead
and doesn’t sink in another titanic bust of dread.

Just call me Mr. Potatohead.
Maggot of a 12th grade wasteland.
in pursuit of a graced land
from which I can jump on a turtle’s back
to ride the more buoyant waves.

Whose paying attention to what an artist craves? (Jackson, 1990)


iv. Eye do not want what eye don’t already have
(& other white lies of the practice)

upon the turtle shell lies a book of words,
keywords (Nelson, 1999), freewords, specialized in glee words
written by the adjunct and the defunct.

ph.ds are drowing in degrees. The grad student gets punked
in the land of student bodies, where the consumer is always right.
Academic McEmployees ask would you like lies with that?
cuz the budget’s always tight with tuition nearly out of sight.

activity fees, oh please, a student is charged when they sneeze,
and given a tissue of encouraging cheese that
excellence, tradition and honor matter most
(this, and a host of other Dead Poet banners of societal yesterdays).

Foucault takes his gaze (1984), sees through the haze,
into the maze

“where bloods and crips have nothing on these departments
when it comes to the animosity required to reign supreme in
one’s hood” (Nelson & Watt, 1999).

There they stood, they stand,
with publications that no one else but them shall read,
reenacting speech codes and multi modes of understanding,
while branding others into their cult.

It’s not their fault.

Everything that’s needed to be said has already been said,
so everything else is a footnote.

This is the price of prestige and celebrity,
intellectual plumage with the reality that there’s no room at top (Rhode, 2006)
of ivory towers, so the rain showers that feed tomorrow’s
tsunamis are set up for frustration,
academic masturbation of knowing more and more a
about less and less (Rhode, 2006). Did someone just say spooge-like stickiness? (Kunkel, 2007)

and we wonder why our planet is such a mess?

WE ARE bodies meant to be controlled (Foucault, 1975)
like historical mind-fields SOLD to an unknown future.

v. This Stanza Available: 1-315-638-9855 (low-paid poet seeking corporate sponsorship)

I’m striking a pose,
but not in a great pair of hose, and it shows,
Madonna, you’re not the only one who knows
life is a mystery
everyone must stand alone

but I don’t hear anyone calling my name
because my individuality has been “reduced
to the endless pursuit of mass-mediated (Giroux, 2002)
interests,” status, and a neo-liberal mess

that i call a blessing in disguise
(i welcome corporations to stare me in my eyes)
and have no problem receiving their economic prize
to help me sustain my future.

But a celebrity death match i’d like to see
is H.A. Giroux against Castiglionni.

Citzenship is portrayed as an utterly privatized affair whose
aim is to produce competitive self-interested individuals
vying for their own material and ideological gain (Giroux, 2002)

vs.

….nothing is more naturally desired by men or more proper to them
than knowledge, and it is great folly to say that knowledge is not always a
good thing (Castiglione, 16th Century).

Now that would be a main event,

like watching public intellectuals
teaching high school
with 150 students a day,
instead of the thirty
they complain are already a class-load too much (Williams, 2001).

such is such.
bush & mcgraw-hill dine over t.v. dinners, (Leistyna, 2007)
& in the end, they are the winners.

Dear Faust, i’d offer my soul for a billboard (Basinger, 1998).

vi. Sports complex-ities & blisters

Two, four, six, eight, ten, eighteen
all you sports babes get up & lean.
a leana leana leana leana leana leana wo!
a leana leana leana leana leana leana wo!

ya know, i ain’t that athletic,
could be considered quite pathetic
if it wasn’t for my ambitious drive.
i learned young, to be alive, and in order to survive
i needed competition --
an arena for pseudo-Olympic exhibition
so there’s been little room for my inhibition
whether at school, at work or at play.

So? i’d give myself a “B” (Lapchick & Brenden, 2006).
maybe even a “C” when it comes to machismo.
Yet, i’m always on the go,
running laps as the rivers flow
in such a network of aquatic maps.

And, sure, i get high-fives and daps for trying.
i’m the nice guy who finishes last,
and it’s a blast to hear, “but no cigar.”

hardy har har.

yeah, i’ve learned to be Bryan pushing a boulder,
with his shoulder, uphill….uphill….uphill.

Chill. Kill. I don’t know, but there’s a thrill
in such complexity
and i’m just another fanatic,
acting erratic in the playground of such sport (Shear, 2007)

And as for the corporate cohort
in their sky box heaven, (Golden, 2006)
let me count to seven,
before i say tax the rich
writing them off and on again
in a superbowl of privilege.

On the edge of every shore,
cattails and zebra muscles must score
trying to filter the humanity,
cleaning up the complexity
of another entitled generation.

inhalation. exhalation.
fluidity needs an explanation

buy more. consume more.
throw away more.

reduce. recycle. reuse.

This earth is the bomb
with a very short fuse.


viii. Hey, Zeus. Christ! (adapted from reflection)

There is a black artist* in Louisville, Kentucky, who paints fascinating landscapes of corporations and billboards: McDonald’s, Sunoco’s, Starbuck’s and huge panoptic buildings. Every Christmas, he walks the streets of Louisville dressed as Santa Claus and sings carols to anyone who will listen – sort of a walking example of evolution versus divine intervention. He migrates between homeless shelters and psychiatric wards, but his paintings are beautiful and purchased by the rich and ridiculous of Kentucky’s horse plantations in his artistic battle-cry. Many of the cinematic choices made by Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grading in “Jesus Camp” reminded me of his paintings. The cornfields, suburban track housing and blue skies in every state are beginning to make sense with the commercial strips, neon lights, sale signs and gas prices. It’s art.

“We all believe in something, even if it’s nothing” (Rosenblith, 2004)

To this Louisville painter, commercialism is an indication of God.

Douglas Coupland needs to believe in God, too….

as do i.

as do

i love/
to believe/
in hope (Kennally, 2001).
* Mark Anthony Mulligan

ix. The Unacalmer Acclamation

o.m.g.
b.t.w.
f.w.i.w.
I m
l.o.o.
proud of generation cyberspace
putting pace back in our face
in this culture so graced with
w.t.f. economic entitlements.

j/k or am i?

skidding my way through a culture of “ceaseless babbling” (Kunkel, 2007)
bubbling today in such creeks along internet highways,
on thruways of “outsourcing ethos” (Kunkel, 2007) and porn machine
displays of “avante guard lit bloggers” (Kunkel, 2007)
and other my space joggers.

kewl? : ) :-) : ( ; ) >: ( : - /

o.w.

mind is a reflection of machines
in virtual simulacra (Zizek, 2007) of digital democracy,
and such hypocrisy is a matter of 2nd Life (Lamont, 2007) .
cuz “In the guise of a fiction, the truth about
one’s self is articulated” (Zizek, 2007).

Ted Kazinski’s ideas (Kunkel, 1995) are matriculated with,
“In order to get our thoughts to the public with some
chance of making a lasting impression, we’ve had to kill people.” (F.C.)

this is the church, this is the steeple
open it up, a technological fable
of anti-depressant cures for humans
at the crossroads –

“all social arrangements are transitory” (F.C., 1995)
and email is only obligatory to
the intellectual situation.

M.Y.O.B., you voyeuristic vulture,
i’m proud of my wikipedia culture (Read, 2007)

and am ready to pay the trolls,
with their fees, polls and tolls,
in order to flow under the bridges
of anonymous communal thoughts.

N.T.I.M
I M A
P.I.T.A.

In
R.L.
all life is a
S.N.A.F.U.

ha-choo. God Bless me.

You Tube celebrity:
Hollywood writers are
S.O.L.

What the hell?
the Farmer and the dell

the postmodern get away with the cheese,
and Ellen Degeneres runs away with the wife.

such is life.

g.t.g.
t.t.f.n.

the cow jumps over the moon
the knife forks over the spoon

and on the lake
another loon.

b.b.s.

glossary:
o.m.g. – oh my god
b.t.w. – by the way
f.w.i.w. – for what it’s worth
I m - I am
l.o.o. – laughing out loud
w.t.f. – what the fuck
j/k - just kidding
kewl - cool
o.w. – oh well
M.Y.O.B – mind your own business
N.T.I.M – Not That It Matters
I M A – I am a
P.I.T.A. – pain in the ass
R.L. – real life.
S.N.A.F.U. – situation normal, all fucked up
S.O.L. – shit out of luck
g.t.g. – got to go
t.t.f.n. – ta ta for now.
b.b.s. – be back soon

x. September 12th

“Every debate about education is trivial compared to a single ideal: never again Auschwitz” (Adorno, 2003)

we’re on a forgotten
television set,
where gray scale
is faded --
like pre-programmed
pocket lint,
without a red-coated child
to bring us into meaning.

“Everyone feels too little loved, because every individual loves too little” (Adorno, 2003)

the parade is marching on, the water flows,
and you are there,
and you are there,
and you are there,
in this crowd, in this flood, a sliding scale of signifiers (Apple, 2002)
where one arm salutes another flaming bush
o u t s t r e t c h e d
in political games of monkey see
and george monkey do...
and did
and does,
in that buzz buzz, Hail! Hitler way,
and even if the maggot’s eyes
have islamic glitter,
too many are too weak to fight back
because somehow, we humans lack
the passion to work harder than we do.

democratically, i am blue.
as the ocean
that we ration,
and we love, too,

wearing golden, magazine stars,
brought to us by CNBC,
oh, say, how we
see
this dawn’s early light,
that there’s another fright within
these days
where painful memories
form ghetto’d ghouls and ghosts,
and oppression hosts yet another
history
which is blistery
like sand in the wind...

the march parades on, this sin,
and digs graves upon oil fields,
by shielding us in democracy
of double-edged hypocrisy
hip hop, you see,
with guns
aimed at our neck.

“Public schools are under attack precisely because they have the potential to become democratic public spheres instilling in students skills, knowledge and values necessary for them to be critical citizens capable of making power accountable and knowledge an intense object of dialogue and engagement” (Giroux, 2005)

you are strong.
and i envy your power.
me? i sit and cower, naked,
in another gaseous shower
because your tears
selected me
intellected me,
heckled me
into believing in this hope.

such a dope. i’ve become hard in the universal cold.

skin and bones starve
so we can look well fed,
pretending to be happy,
while others live life dead...

me and my brothers play tag
in a grass land of a jewish valley
and i was it
until he was it
until i was it
until he was it
until i was it
until he was placed in an oven to fly.

he left me, just bry, to cry and sigh
in words that read, poetically
.
pathetic,
in the grand scheme
of the American Dream
which brings nightmares
into islamic dawns
pawning scud missles into the night.

i can’t concentrate
nor match these like-like pictures
in a classic game of
concentration
cuz there’s too much pulp
squeezed into my citrus
concentrate, &
i’m losing focus,
going blurry,
in a sand slurry of
those ancestors
and decrepid walls.

Madame Schachter, (Wiesel, 1958)
she calls.
she calls
me on the train,
where father prayed for rain
and sister grabbed his forearm
and mother felt our pain.
this,
in old rage,
aging to be the eldery.

i am human.
man am i-
am i man?
are you?
evil?
alive?
an eye for an eye?
a lie for your truth.

bang bang you’re dead,
fifty bullets in my head.

i’m being led away
beyond the broken window
into burned-blind, krystalnacht faith,
like a wringraithe of emotion
breaking
d
o
w
n
into yellow marked rejection....
passing the inspection to the right,
i’m too weak, now,

dear lord, good night.

arbeiten zu mach frei
arbeiten zu mach frei

but in my prayer, i don’t want to die
in another holocaust of hatred and fear
(with a tear that’s not factored in
on NBC,
not free for
Survival,
nor celebrity
yet, the child is ripped from star-
struck arms,
and tantalized to eat dirt
to flirt with hollywood ratings).

and i heard him make music,
only to be bashed by it
against his head
instrumentally abused,
this violin plays dead

but if only one more could be saved.

i could have saved one more.

why can’t i save another?

God, where were you, brother?
Where are you
in this black and white world?

Humanity whirling too far
to be lost,
once again,

without seeing
your yellow flicker
in the fire-lit flame

Who’s wearing
the red coat now?

Is it me?

xi. I’ve always lived in the Real World

i’ve lived in the real world since 1972,
but it became more real in 1992
when it was brought to me by MTV
(before i Loved New York).

i remember cable coming to my home,
as if delivered by some stork
to wire my family in remote control artistry
of hypnotics and finger-felt aerobics of
channel-changing art.
scratch, scratch, burp, fart,
whose getting the microwave popcorn?

We became the army, trained soldiers
to the screen, commercialized by any means possible.
The mission, to be fissioned and confusioned
into nuclear family robots.

Just a working class ass trying to put shelter over my head.
in the great chain of being
conditioned to the Wandervogel German Youth Movement.

the first time i watched the Simple Life i couldn’t move,
because Paris made my universe more complex.
Drugs. Fame. Sex.
How could I avoid being perplexed by
Lifestyles of the rich and ridiculous.

Let me smoke. Let me cuss. Let me rebel with
an adolescent fuss, but don’t change the channel –
i’ll always be comfortable in flannel upon my couch.
(ouch, did i just admit that?)

i’m honest in over-mediated combat
where i choose to poetically scat
about America’s Next Top Model,
and where i can honestly yodel
i’m America’s Biggest Loser-boy
gone wild…

so where are my beads and Emmys?


xii. Lactose intolerant; milking education for what it’s worth

i didn’t discover my nipples until i was thirty-three years old.

i was at the chalkboard when it occurred to me that my chest pepperonis
were useless, and i will confess, i did what i always do when i
want to find an answer – i contacted my librarian friend
at the check out counter.

i now know why i have nipples,
but i don’t understand the pay scale
that comes with them.

i had a student once who dated a lactating nipple boy who could squirt milk on command, but he didn’t earn much. He delivered pizzas.

chandler, on Friends, has a third nipple,
and i’m glad he’s not Mr. Whipple,
too afraid to squeeze the Charmin
of Monica, because it takes two
for the harmonica of love.

all of this is nothing but multi-media biblio-farming

and isn’t life in such classrooms alarming (Jackson, 1990)
where rat-race routines begin harming
youth being trained to live in a crowd --
where questions and voice is seldom allowed --
and choice and suggestions become the next rain cloud
floating above our horizons –
slurping moisture from dry-rotting brains
where educational policies are design to sustain
measurements & figures, statistical pains
in the global song of circumcision (Grumet, 1988)
where state-mandated provisions
leave no child behind.

i teach because i do –
and not because i’m man enough to drink bitter milk— (Grumet, 1988),
i much prefer a good beer – cold British silk on my tongue.

Oh dear, i’ve just become a bit too Bry,
that young XY asking why in the sky, not meaning to pry,
while renaming the womyn did they opt for a y
is there too much XX in the educational stir-fry?
i’m beginning to get indigestion.

so, i’ll finish with this lil’ suggestion:

human beings are quite trainable,
and we need this, to make us sustainable:
environmentally economical,
we need to be economically environmental

because teachers are wetlands --

graced lands, not wastelands,
prepositionally-phrased lands,
of institutional systems of amazed lands,

needing to filter the future
from the rushing hush of the past.

Eco-linguistically,
how much longer will we last?

We need women.
We need men.

We need to reproduce
again and again,
whether it’s Ellen and Rosie,
or Dumbledore with Ted. (as in Haggard)

the show must go on.

onward goes the show.

ya know?

yo.

pimp. ho.

daddy-o.

xiii. post-face

i’ve been graced by pond life,
traced onto lily pads and cattails
from the wings of a dragonfly.

it’s always been just me, myself and bry,
never knowing what lies ahead,
as i find myself floating in ubiquitous, narcissistic dreams --
seldom in control of the oar.

i’m just intellectual
whore navigating the shoreline of my epi/aca/demic streets.

and this is where my skin has met a dried out vapor,
where i scribbled these thoughts to paper
in hopes of one day make sense.

and off the fence i question what I’ve been told,
feeling sold & pimped to this institutional hold
of my mindless movement and moving mindlessness.

i am drifting with short prayers,
complicated by my layers of ancestors who are now dust,
recognizing that, drift i must, as i do.
streaming away in motion, brittle as bamboo,
renewing this spirit in the watershed of my mind
i long to find still waters again.

a frog in search of a bog, a marsh….a fen,
transcending the damage of women and men,

graced to have life while i have it.

Referenced Work: “The Graced Land; Floating Through the Watershed of Ideas”

Adorno, T.W. (2003). Education after Auschwitz, Can One Live After Auschwitz? A
Philosophical Reader, Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, PP. 18-33

Affluenza, KCTS/Seattle and Oregon Public Broadcasting, 1997

Angus, I. (2003). Academic freedom in the corporate university. In Saltpan, K. &
Gabbard, D. (eds.) Education as Enforcement. New York: Routledge, PP. 64-75

Apple, M.W. (2002). Patriotism, Pedagogy, and Freedom: On Educational Meanings of
September 11th, Teachers College Record Vol. 104, No. 8, 1760-1772

Basinger, J. (1998). Increase in number of chairs endowed by corporations prompts new
concerns, The Chronicle of Higher Education, April. Issue 33.
http://chronicle.com/che-data/articles.dir/art-44.dir/issue-33.dir/33a05101.htm

Chomsky, N. (2003). The Function of schools: Subtler and cruder methods of control.
From Saltman, K. & Gabbard, D. (eds.) Education as Enforcement. New York:
Routledge. PP. 25 – 35.

Clavell, J. (1967). To Sir With Love. Columbia British Productions.

Dannelly, B. (dir.) (2003). Saved: United Artists.

Deveny, K. with R. Kelley. (2007) Girls Gone Wild: What Are Celebrities Teaching our
Children, Newsweek, February 12, http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/ 16961761/site/newsweek/

F.C. (1995). Excerpt from The Unabomber Manifest, Industrial Society & Its Future,
Jolly Rogers Press, PP. 27-55.

Foucault, M. (1984). The means of correct training. From Discipline and Punishment.
In Rainbow, P. (ed.) The Foucault Reader. New York, Pantheon Books.
pp. 188 – 205

Foucault, M. (1975). Panopticsim and complete and austere institutions. In Rainbow, P.
(ed.) The Foucault Reader. New York: Pantheon Books, PP. 206 -225.

Foucault, M. (1995) Docile Bodies, excerpted in The Foucault Reader. PP. 179-187

Frontline: The Merchants of Cool, WGBH Educational Foundation, 2001

Giroux, H.A. (2002). Neoliberalism, corporate culture, and the promise of higher
education: The University as a Democratic Public Sphere, Harvard Educational
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Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Olela-la la

What Am I Talking About? – a monologue response to Oleanna

The scene takes place at the tree described by C. Nelson and S. Watt’s in Academic Keywords: A Devil’s Dictionary for Higher Education (1999) where “the roots and branches are severed, cut off from each other and torn out of the ground. The webs are broken, the connections lost. The liquids that once flowed peacefully from branch to branch now drip on the ground and decompose.” Scattered upon the debris of the dead tree are the words for Ditmar Meidell’s “Oleana” – the sardonic Norwegian emigrant song. The words are magnified on poster-size strips in fonts large enough for the audience to see (a copy of the song is attached):

Enter Bryan: He’s a 35 year old, aging man who has spent his life running, dieting and fighting the genetics inherited from his mother and father. He has the weight genes from his mom and a manic brain like his dad. The strabismus he’s cursed with doesn’t come from either parent, though. It is the result of once making fun of Ms. Clapsaddle, a photography teacher in 8th grade, for her wandering eye. Now he has one, too. Bryan’s in graduate school, again, pursuing answers to the questions he’s been asking since he was born. The actor looks at the tree, its parts, and pulls several lines, sheets of strung lyrics, from the debris and reads them out loud. He surveys the stage and takes the bag from his shoulder and places it on the ground near the tree stump where he sits. Out of his bag he pulls a pad and a few pens. He begins to draw the scene while talking to himself:

The Sky is Falling! The sky is falling! (He says smarmy and sarcastic – very much perceived in the stereotypical academic pose) Call me Chicken Little! The sky is Falling!
(He looks out and notices the audience who should be watching him, “Pay attention to me! Pay attention to me!” he thinks, and then begins to speak).

I just watched David Mamet’s Oleanna for the first time. Pretty dramatic, eh? Intense. Very intense – a verbal ping pong table, in fact, that seems perplexed by its patriarchal paranoia. Hey, that’s alliteration (he cracks himself up). The peculiar purple pie man of porcupine peak! Strawberry Shortcake. That’s alliteration, too.

The movie is from 1994, an adaptation of the 1992 play performed in Cambridge, Massachusetts. The movie premiered in my last year as an undergraduate where I was learning, for the first time, about post-modernism, a response to modernism, and how much of the world’s reality is socio-culturally created. Leslie Heywood, a feminist body builder and college track star, taught me T.S. Eliot’s “The Wasteland” and Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness with lessons on the body, Foucault, Simone Di Beauvoir and a concept of anorexic logic. She was teaching us about the backlash of changing demographics and the white man’s reaction to such alternative discourses -- The horror! The horror! The white man’s burden.
After being mentored by her, I moved to Louisville, Kentucky and volunteered for the Humana Plays at Actors Theater. There, I saw a play called Middle Class White Men where several overweight, middle-aged, Euro-centered fellows were asked by God, a woman, to strip naked and expose their true nature to a live audience. This birthday suit bonanza occurred at a garbage dump very much like this one, except the apocalypse was the trash of mankind and not a metaphorical tree: Armageddon? Chicken Little’s fallen sky? The Wasteland? The horror? The horror? Does every civilization bear the seeds of its own destruction like Aristotle says?

I feel lucky to be enrolled again, in 2007, where the assumptions about who is being schooled aren’t readily available. No one can predict what the millennial generation has read or knows – Hirsch didn’t succeed with weaving a canonized fabric across the nation, although he tried. I like the multiple discourse approach and the arguments modern day Universities have to contend with, and I prefer to be in a place that asks questions, rather than dictates mantras of absolute truth. Carol, in Mamet’s movie and script, demands to be educated, yet becomes the very creature she despises once she receives education. My father taught me to be careful of what I hate, because in the process of hating something, you usually become it. I wouldn’t want to end up like Carol, nor her professor. I’ll ask questions, thank you, but will try to abstain from being an expert at anything.

And I have to admit, Mamet’s dramatic script, as a movie, navigated agitation upon my spine in new ways. I commented that the lack of Hollywood dazzle allowed me to concentrate on the dialogue. It was heavy. I was disturbed. I grew frustrated by the positions and roles the characters played, replayed and counter-played. More importantly, I began over-intellectualizing what David Mamet was trying to say… speculating at how Oleanna, the script, would be received by traditionalists, feminists, post-colonialists, postmodernists, queer specialists, philosophers, politicians, Dis/abiliticians, late capitalists, pan-African specialists, and Foucault worshipers.

What would Kal Alston and Mark Stern want me to get out of this viewing experience?

“To make me mad is your job.” (Bryan stands up and robotically repeats himself) To make me mad is their job.

It’s maddening, and thinking about it too much has made crazy. I’ve gone crazy.

But is the sky falling? (He picks up more lines from “Oleanna” and reads them to the audience).

I don’t think so. Instead, I think the sky grows more broad and beautiful everyday. There’s so much more room for interpretation of its clouds, colors, stars, moons, optical illusions and the possibilities of what actually exists out there. In 2007, although knowledge comes at great costs to the capitalizing of ideologies, it seems more education is being made available to more people than ever before, and with this, new views of what is “real” and “not real” are being understood. I look forward to learning the global skies of tomorrow as new horizons give way to the voices yet to be heard. I hope to hear them one day.

(Bryan goes back to the tree stump and draws in his journal, again. He looks around at the stage and sketches some more)

But the professor’s rage? Barbaric. Uncivilized. Out of control.

And what does “cunt” actually mean, anyways? Why would Mamet choose to end the story with that word at the same time he pans his camera to a couple of male undergrads tossing a football in front of the institution from which knowledge is taught? Was he trying to hang himself with that choice? What was he thinking? And how have the departmentalized, traditionalized, and highly specialized disciplines found meaning and publications out of criticizing such a terrible choice? And which of us will be right in the end? Is it wrong to ask such questions? Am I privileged and would you like me to undress, too? I’m far from middle class.

(a musician walks on stage and begins to play his guitar. Bryan focuses on his journal once more. He is oblivious of the musician who begins to play the Norwegian ballad. Three young children enter the stage. They are from three different races, and one of the children is in a wheel chair. They enter singing and begin sifting through the fallen tree, trying to put the pieces back together. A man in a suit enters. He sings, too. He has duct tape to help the children. A woman, in beautiful African robes, enters. She’s singing as well. She’s there to help the process of rebuilding the tree. Two more women, holding hands, arrive. They smile at the half-built semblance of a tree. They join the others. Bryan closes his journal and places it in his bag. He walks off the stage wondering if hope is a mirage. The lights go out. He can be heard saying the following:) “Seriously, am I wrong to ask such questions? “I love/to believe/in hope.” (Kennelly, 1995) To believe in hope, I love. In hope, I love to believe.


(Lights out).

References:

Kennelly, B (1995). Poetry my arse. Bloodaxe Books. Great Britain.

Mamet, D. (1994). Olenna. Bay Kinescope, 1994.

Meidell, D. (1852). “Oleana.” Translated by Blegen, T.C.;
http://www.stolaf.edu/naha/pubs/nas/volume14/vol14_5.htm

Nelson. C. & Watt, S. (1999). Academic Keywords; A devil’s dictionary to higher
education. Routledge Publishing. New York.



The Ballad of Oleana: A Verse Translation
By Theodore C. Blegen

OLEANA
I'm off to Oleana, I'm turning from my doorway,
No chains for me, I'll say good-by to slavery in Norway.
Ole---Ole---Ole---oh! Oleana!
Ole---Ole---Ole---oh! Oleana!
II
They give you land for nothing in jolly Oleana,
And grain comes leaping from the ground in floods of golden manna.
III
The grain it does the threshing, it pours into the sack, Sir,
You make a quart of whisky from each one without expense, Sir
IV
The crops they are gigantic, potatoes are immense, Sir,
You make a quart of whisky from each one without expense, Sir.
V
And ale as strong and sweet as the best you've ever tasted,
It's running in the foamy creek, where most of it is wasted.
VI
The salmon they are playing, and leaping in the brook, Sir,
They hop into your kettle, put the cover on, and cook, Sir.
VII
And little roasted piggies, with manners quite demure, Sir,
They ask you, Will you have some ham? And then you say, Why, sure, Sir.
VIII
The cows are most obliging, their milk they put in pails, Sir,
They make your cheese and butter with a skill that never fails, Sir.
IX
The bull he is the master, his calves he likes to boss, Sir,
He beats them when they loaf about, he's never at a loss, Sir.
X
The calves are very helpful, themselves they skin and kill, Sir,
They turn into a tasty roast before you drink your fill, Sir.
XI
The hens lay eggs colossal, so big and round and fine, Sir,
The roosters act like eight-day clocks, they always tell the time, Sir.
XII
And cakes come raining down, Sir, with chocolate frosting {1} coated,
They're nice and rich and sweet, good Lord, you eat them till you're bloated.
XIII
And all night long the sun shines, it always keeps a-glowing,
It gives you eyes just like a cat's, to see where you are going.

XIV
The moon is also beaming, it's always full, I vow, Sir,
A bottle for a telescope, I'm looking at it now, Sir.
XV
Two dollars for carousing they give each day, and more, Sir,
For if you're good and lazy, they will even give you four, Sir.
XVI
Support your wife and kids? Why, the county pays for that, Sir,
you'd slap officials down and out if they should leave you flat, Sir.
XVII
And if you've any bastards, you're freed of their support, Sir,
As you can guess since I am spinning verses for your sport, Sir.
XVIII
You walk about in velvet, with silver buttons bright, Sir,
You puff away at meerschaum pipes, your women pack them right, Sir.
XIX
The dear old ladies struggle, and sweat for us, and labor,
and if they're cross, they spank themselves, they do it as a favor.
XX
And so we play the fiddle, and all of us are glad, Sir,
We dance a merry polka, boys, and that is not so bad, Sir.
XXI
I'm off to Oleana, to lead a life of pleasure,
A beggar here, a count out there, with riches in full measure.
XXII
I'm coming, Oleana, I've left my native doorway,
I've made my choice, I've said good-by to slavery in Norway.
Ole---Ole---Ole---oh! Oleana!
Ole---Ole---Ole---oh! Oleana!