P.U.

In this year of optimism, I was thrown a curve ball. 

Baby needed to pee at 1 a.m., so I let her out. She immediately took off for the field behind my house and came back coughing and hacking.  Saliva and foam was pouring out of her mouth. She smelled like burnt rubber.  A skunk got her right in the kisser. Since my house isn't fenced in, I chose to let her sleep inside. I  gave her a late bath to temporarily cure the stench, but locked her out of my bedroom.  This is at 2 a.m..  I finally fell asleep, but when I awoke the skunk smell in my house was unbelievable. It was raw and in my face.  It made roadkill smell seem mild.

The thing is, I had to do a teacher observation at Jamesville-DeWitt high school at 9 a.m..  I took a shower, scrubbed hard, but on my drive there, I realized I still stunk pretty bad.  I told the teachers about the olfactory phenomenonf from the previous night and apologized.  They said they didn't smell anything.  Yet, when the students arrived, they began asking, "What's that awful smell?"  I said, 'Oh, that's just me.  The University supervisor -- Skunk issue.'  Then, one of the teachers sprayed apple-cinnamon air freshener.  This didn't help.  Suddenly the room smelled like Pepe LePew at Christmas. 

This is a first for me.  As crazy as it sounds, it made me laugh and I enjoyed the experience.  After doing the student observation, I ran to the store and picked up the above recipe: baking powder, peroxide and lemon detergent.  I doused Baby in this concoction, and also added coconut mouse and apple slice shampoo.  Now, she sort of smells like the Massengill Douche that several websites recommended as perfect de-skunking material.  

After bathing the dog, bedsheets, my carpet and myself, I thought I accomplished a productive day.  Yet, on the way to campus, I stopped by the post office to mail a package.  The first think the employee said is, "Do you smell skunk?"  Alas, I did what I could and the rest is history.  

Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks!

How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?
Just a phew!

What did the baby skunk want to be when he grew up?
A big stinker!

What's a skunk's philosophy of life?
Eat, stink and be merry!

How are skunks able to avoid danger?
By using their instinks and common scents!

What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
Deja phew!