Wednesday, October 29, 2008

in the dark


A Northeasterner blew in last night and weighed heavily on the electrical lines leading to my street. At 8:15 I lost electricity. I had a lot to do, but I couldn't do it. I was paralyzed against normalcy, or at least how I perceive what a normal evening in my life looks like.

Last night, that normal couldn't be. I couldn't see in my house, I lost all electrical connection, and I was totally divided from the patterns I set as routine: research, reading and writing. It made me think about access. My access was cut off and I couldn't do life, as I know life. I couldn't work.

I have two legs, sight, sound, and education. I am white. I am male. Yet, how accessible is education to those who only know darkness, in light of the 'white, canonized, westernized' traditions of how we do education? Who are disabled? Who don't see the world the way I've been taught to? The disenfranchised? Where does their lack of access get considred?

These thoughts occurred in the dark when I had nothing else I could do. My darkness was only temporary. Looking for ultimate answers, according to the existentialists, is like looking for a black cat in a dark basement at night, when the cat really isn't there. Happiness, though, is knowing the cat has to be in here somewhere. There has to be answers somewhere. Meow.

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